Grief during the Holidays

Losing a loved one is never easy. Losing a loved one at the holidays, is even more difficult. It can be stressful to approach the holidays, party invitations, and family traditions, without your loved one; especially when your grief is new. As you begin the holidays, there are several things you should keep in mind to lessen your stress.
First, be prepared that some of the events which take place will make you want to cry, or will bring back memories that make you sad. It is important that you give yourself permission to express what you are feeling. Prepare yourself to spend time thinking about past holidays spent with your loved one. You may even think about them when you see photographs of past holiday gatherings or hear familiar holiday songs. Allowing yourself to cry, or be sad is a healthy way to grieve your loss. You may find it helpful to share memories with other family members and friends, who are also grieving the loss of your loved one. If so, know that you want to make sure that in remembering your loved one, you are not responsible for spreading a “bah, hum bug” attitude to everyone you meet. You may, however, prefer to grieve in private. If so, just make sure that you do not try to hide from the holidays, as this approach will only make you feel more sad and lonely.


It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to feel guilty or that you are not honoring your loved one if you find yourself laughing and even experiencing moments of enjoyment. Your loved one, friends, and family want you to go on living. They do not expect you to quit living now that your loved one is gone. So, decide which invitations and gatherings to attend. Don’t expect too much from yourself. Give yourself permission to laugh and cry as genuinely as possible. Step out boldly during this new season in your life, and you will be glad you did!